


Child Of Mine

by jackson_nicole



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 12:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16681543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackson_nicole/pseuds/jackson_nicole
Summary: Ivar wants to give his wife and queen, Aura, a child. A healthy one, unlike him. It is a fear that is ever present in his mind.





	1. Prologue

Aura stood over the fire as she prepared a meal for Ivar, who should have already returned by now. Now that they were back in Kattegat, Ivar was always out hunting and simply enjoying being home, though he took plenty of time to plan his strategy for when Lagertha and his brothers made a move against him, trying to take Kattegat back. Finally, she heard his voice as he rode back into town. Aura smiled and scooped the meat into a bowl and set it on the table at his place, then hurried the slaves around to fill his cup with ale and set the bread and cheese on the table. He had gone on a three-day hunt this time and Aura missed his presence and being at his side. The hall doors opened and Ivar walked in, gripping his crutch and talking and laughing with his men as they hauled in their catch. Aura turned and smiled, waiting for his eyes to fall on her. When they did, his eyes lit up as a sly smirk curled his lips. Seeing his queen ready and waiting for him made Ivar very happy and he quickly went to her.

“My King.” Aura said, bowing her head, as did the slaves, as he approached. Ivar chuckled and cupped her chin, raising it to look at him.

“My Queen. Always prepared for me. What have you made tonight?” He asked, kissing her softly. Aura smiled and led him to his chair.

“Your favorite, of course.” She said, sitting in the chair beside him as he sat down. Ivar sighed as he sat, shifting to hand his crutch to one of the slaves and look over the feast in front of him. He inhaled, deeply, and smiled.

“It all smells wonderful, wife. Thank you.” He said, looking at her and taking her hand, lifting it to kiss the back of her hand. Aura smiled.

“Only the best for you, my husband.” She said. Ivar chuckled and gave her hand a small squeeze before dropping it and digging into his food.

~

Once the meal was done, Ivar spent a great deal of time with his men talking about the hunt and future battles as Aura helped the slaves clean up. Ivar always admired how involved she was with everything in Kattegat and appreciated her for it. She was a very dutiful wife and very loving toward the children as well. Seeing her interact with the children, Ivar could only endure it for so long before he stormed off in a huff. He wanted to see Aura interact like that with her own child,  _their_  child. It had been 2 years since they married in Vestfold under Harald’s priestess and Aura had yet to fall pregnant. It never seemed to bother her because she had so many things going on when she wasn’t at Ivar’s side, but it bothered Ivar.

While he finally proved that  _snake_  of a brother Sigurd wrong, that he  _could_  please a woman and his cock _did_  work, he now feared that while it worked, it couldn’t produce children, as evident by Aura’s constant slim figure. He wanted to talk to his wife about the possibility of children, perhaps make a sacrifice and plead with the gods, but how would he even begin to address the subject? While his brothers grew up and learned to walk at a young age, this fucking disease, this absolute curse from the gods made him fearful that if Aura were to ever conceive and have a child, he would only give her cripples, like himself. While it gave him a little happiness, seeing someone other than himself as a cripple and like him, he never wanted to curse his sons and daughters with it and it hurt his heart greatly.

He only ever had these worries in private; Holding Aura as they fell asleep, cuddling with her after sex, her head on his chest and her breathing slowing as she slept. Only in his quiet private moments did he allow his thoughts to drift into the bad place he never wanted to see become reality. Some nights it almost made him want to stop fucking his wife and take a slave instead, because he didn’t care if a lowly slave bore a cripple, but he never wanted to put Aura through that kind of tragedy.

After finally noticing Aura had been absent from the hall for quite some time, he excused himself from his men and went back to their room, where he found her getting ready for bed. Again, those thoughts rushed at him as he sat on the bed, removing his braces. Aura glanced at him when he walked in as she brushed out her hair, but now she turned to him and watched, as he had stayed silent the moment he walked in, not even a ‘Hello’. She went to him and touched his cheek, making him stop and look up. He smiled at her and took her hand, kissing her palm.

“What troubles you, Ivar? I’ve never heard you so silent before.” Aura said, softly. Ivar leaned into her touch as she slid her fingers over his cheek. He sighed and shook his head.

“Nothing, my love. Just weary and tired from the hunt.” Ivar lied. He wasn’t ready to tell her and he didn’t think he ever would be. Aura pursed her lips at him, briefly, knowing he was lying, before dropping to her knees and removing the second brace. Ivar sighed and laid back as Aura helped him into bed. She rounded the bed and crawled in next to him, snuggling up to his side and resting her head on his chest.

“I’ve missed you.” She said, softly, closing her eyes. She let her fingers travel over his chest, pushing them under his shirt. Ivar shifted to sit up, making Aura roll away and watch him as he sighed and tugged off his shirt, laying back down and pulling his wife closer. He cupped her cheek and kissed her deep and slow.

“I missed you too.” He whispered against her lips. Their eyes slowly drifted up to meet, then they both smiled and chuckled as Aura snuggled back into his side and Ivar wrapped his arms around her, staring at the ceiling. Aura stared past the bed, her eyes fixed on the wall as her stomach fluttered as she tried to find her words. There was a long silence between them as things settled and finally, Ivar spoke, softly, “I wish I could give you a child, Aura…A  _healthy_  one. Unlike me.”

Aura blinked and looked up at him for a moment, before she shifted and turned to rest an arm on his chest and looked down at him.

“What do you mean?” She asked. Ivar didn’t look at her, but she still saw his bright eyes shine with a thin layer of forming tears.

“I’m a cripple. If that wasn’t bad enough, I can’t even give you a child, healthy or otherwise.” He said, trying not to let his voice crack, but it did anyway. Aura bit her lip and touched his cheek.

“Ivar, my love…”

“I’ve always wanted a child…And seeing you with the children here…It breaks my heart.”

“Ivar-”

“We’ve been married for two years, Aura.” He said, looking at her finally. “You’ve not become quick with child and I fear you never will be. Perhaps I’m destined never to have a child…Let alone many…”

Ivar looked away as a tear rolled down his cheek. Aura gave a soft sigh and shook her head, turning him back to face her and wiping the tear away.

“Ivar, don’t talk like that.” She said.

“Why not? It is clear the gods have cursed me. Even if I were to give you a child, it will probably be a deformed cripple like me.” He said. Aura kissed just under his eye,, gently, trying to will away his tears and nuzzled his cheek.

“My love, please don’t say such things. It hurts my heart when I hear you talk like that.” Aura said. “You are a good man and a good warrior. You protect your people and me. How can the gods see that and not give you a child to be the very image of his father?”

“I don’t want a child to be like me, Aura.” He whispered. Aura looked at him.

“Your child can look like you and still walk. I do not care if you are crippled, Ivar. That’s not why I married you.” She said. “I married you because I love you.”

Ivar gave a soft huff and looked away. Aura shook her head and sighed, shifting to lay at his side again. She watched him and chewed her lip. Finally, she took his hand.

“Ivar. Ivar, my love, please look at me.” She said. Ivar hesitated, then sighed, turning to her. She gave him a soft smile and slowly guided his hand to her stomach, pressing it against the hard bump that was forming. “You’re not cursed by the gods. I don’t ever want to hear such bad things like that from you again.”

Ivar’s eyes widened as he splayed his hand over her stomach. “Aura…”

“I’ve already been to see the Seer.” Aura said, her smile growing. “He’s seen that the child will grow in the image of its father…Healthy and a fierce fighter.”

Ivar’s eyes filled with fresh tears again, but of happiness. His smile grew and he turned to her more.

“Tell me it’s true?” He asked through his tears. “You-You’re truly with child?”

Aura giggled and nodded, sliding a hand through his hair. Ivar sighed and scooted down to kiss her stomach, resting his head just above and rubbing the small bump. Aura smiled and watched him, scratching her nails over his scalp, gently.

“Oh, my child.” He whispered to her stomach. “Grow and grow strong. My prince. My princess. Whoever you may be. Be strong.”

Aura’s tears slipped from the corners of her eyes and she sniffed as she watched him lay there. Ivar closed his eyes and sighed, his smile spreading as they both slowly drifted off to sleep.

~


	2. Chapter 2

As Aura’s belly grew, inside it, Ivar’s child, the more fearful he became at the aspect of being a father. While the Seer said the child would be healthy and a fierce warrior, Ivar still worried wouldn’t be able to care for the child the way he wanted; The way Ragnar never did. He never let anyone know that he wanted kids, he never wanted to give the impression he wanted kids. But in his secret moments, even before Aura, he often thought about having a family with his wife and seeing his children running around him.  _Running._  Not stuck in a chair or a wagon like he was. He didn’t want to see his children crippled, but until the child was born, those fears were still clear and present in his mind.

~

“Aura!” Ivar called. Aura jumped and held her swollen stomach as she turned with a sigh, seeing Ivar stalk toward her as he entered the hall.

“Ivar, please-”

“I told you I did not want you on your feet. You should be resting, my petal.” He said, gently, cupping her cheek. Aura smiled and leaned into the touch.

“Ivar, I am feeling fine. I want to help.” She said. Ivar shook his head.

“No. Until the baby is born, you will be waited on, as you should be as Queen.” He said, firmly, but gently. Aura sighed.

“My love, I am not an invalid. The healers have said up until the last week I am fine. I still have another month, my King” Aura said, sliding her fingers over his cheek. “Let me help them with the meal and then I shall stay off my feet for the rest of the night.”

Ivar sighed and shifted, dropping his hand. He slid his hand over her belly and smiled, softly. He still held fear for Aura and his child behind his eyes. Aura closed the space between them and nuzzled his cheek, kissing it softly.

“Ivar, please to not be afraid.” She said, softly. “I need you by my side. My strong husband. Have faith and the gods shall reward us.”

Ivar sighed and pressed his face into her hair, wrapping an arm around her to hold her close.

“I have faith…But I still fear.” He said. Aura cupped his face and guided it to hers, pressing her lips against his.

“Do not fear for me now. I am fine.” She said, sweetly. “We shall talk later.”

Ivar nodded and gave a small smile before Aura pulled away and continued to help prepare the food. Ivar watched her for a moment, before sliding his fingers through her hair then turning to walk away. Aura glanced at him over her shoulder and sighed, putting a hand to her stomach. Every time she saw the fear on his face and heard it in his voice, her heart nearly stopped. She didn’t want to have this child surrounded by fear and negativity. But Ivar was so terrified of giving her an unhealthy child ‘like him’ that it clouded almost all joy and happiness he should be feeling and it hurt Aura’s heart to see him in distress.

~

The month passed and there was still no sign of Aura going into labor. At this, Ivar’s fear knew no bounds. It was a week past the first snowfall of winter, when she was due, and Ivar was by her side at all times. He abandoned all battle meetings and planning, leaving it to Hvitserk to take care of in his absence. As much as Aura begged him to let her be and that the slaves would fetch him the moment she had her first contraction, he refused. He never wanted her to leave their bed, but Aura was just as stubborn as him and sometimes she moved a little too quick for him and he crawled after her in a huff. But a quick comment on how well and quick their child would learn to crawl made him laugh and break the tension.

Finally, around the second week, Aura had doubled over in pain, dropping her bowl of meat as it smashed on the ground. She whimpered and called out for Ivar who was immediately by her side and screamed at the slaves to send the midwives. Aura’s slaves hurried her to her room and helped her lay on the bed as her contractions began and she cried out in pain. Ivar’s face was filled with fear as he watched her cry out and endure the labor. He gripped her hand, unsure of what to do. As the slaves dabbed her forehead with a cloth, Ivar began to shake slightly. Aura looked at him.

“Ivar.” She managed to get out through the pain. “Ivar, it’s just the labor pains. I’m okay.”

She tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it didn’t help. Finally, one of the midwives shooed him away, but not without a fight, of course.

“She is my wife! I’m not leaving her!” Ivar shouted at the midwife.

“My King, she is in labor! You cannot panic and give her more stress! Unless you can promise me you can keep a level head and be calm, you must leave!” She shouted back at him. Ivar huffed at her and looked to Aura. Aura shook her head and said, “Ivar. Listen to her. Leave. Please. I don’t want you getting upset.”

“I don’t want to leave you, Aura,” Ivar said, though his eyes spoke the truth. He didn’t want to hear of her death, nor did he want to see it, but he would rather hold her in his arms one last time than never get to say goodbye.

“Have faith, my love. The gods will-Oh!” Aura squeezed her slave’s hand as another contraction set in. “The gods…Will take care of us…Ohhh…”

Tears streamed down her face as this contraction was worse than the last. Ivar moved to go to her, but the midwife pushed him away and shooed him out the door.

“Wait in the hall like the husbands do. Your brother has been told, as has King Harald. Go and wait for him with your brother.” The midwife said before shutting the door in his face. Ivar groaned and stalked to the hall where Hvitserk was already drinking and laughing with the men. They turned as Ivar walked in and Hvitserk shouted out for him.

“There he is! Our King! The soon to be father!” Hvitserk laughed, hopping off the table and taking the pitcher of ale and an empty cup to him as he sat on his throne. Hvitserk filled the cup and held it out to him, but Ivar shook his head. Hvitserk raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

Ivar sighed. “I should be in there with her…She’s  _my_  wife…She’s having  _my_  child…” Ivar grumbled.

“So, go be with her,” Hvitserk said, sipping out of his brother’s cup. Ivar rolled his eyes and sighed.

“The midwife kicked me out of the room. She has said that I was adding to the stress of Aura’s labor.” Ivar said. Hvitserk chuckled and set down the pitcher as he stepped up to his brother and clapped him on his shoulder.

“Do not worry yourself, Ivar. She has had a healthy pregnancy. She will be fine.” He said. Ivar glanced at him.

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Ivar said, into his hand as he chewed on his nails from the anxiety. Hvitserk shifted, clasping the cup in both hands in front of him.

“Then what is it you are worried about?” Hvitserk asked. Ivar didn’t want to cry in front of his brother and his men, but that didn’t stop the shine of tears that formed in a thin layer, thick enough to blur his vision but thin enough not to spill over.

“The baby.” He said, his voice a breath above a whisper. Hvitserk sighed and glanced back at the men as the drank, sang and laughed before taking a step closer to his little brother.

“The Seer has said the baby will be healthy. What is there to worry about, Ivar?” Hvitserk asked, his voice dropped lower and his tone a bit softer. He didn’t want to set Ivar off, but he also felt as though he needed to reason with him to keep him from going mad while Aura was in labor, for who knows how long her labor would be? And Hvitserk knew, even though this was his first child, he still knew that the longer her labor went on, the more frantic Ivar would become.

Ivar sighed and sat back, shifting in his seat and becoming very visibly upset with the conversation.

“The Seer can be wrong. Why was she two weeks late? Hmm?” Ivar asked. His face tightened and tensed as his fists curled up on the armrests. “If the baby was going to be healthy, I would be holding my child right now.”

“Ivar, you do not know what this means,” Hvitserk said, holding a hand to him. “The midwives could have been wrong about when she would deliver. Do not dwell on these thoughts, they will only poison the air.”

Ivar sighed, again, and tilted his head back, lightly tapping a fist on the armrest, struggling to keep his temper. “I should be there with her. I shouldn’t have abandoned her like that! She needs me!” Ivar shouted, moving to stand. Hvitserk was quick to step up to him and push on his shoulder, pushing Ivar back into his seat. Ivar glared up at his brother. “Let me go, Hivtserk.”

“No. You in this state will do her no good, Ivar. you must be calm if you are to be by her side and right now you are not. You know she cares for you and loves you. If she sees you upset, she will become upset. If she sees you worried and fearful, so too will she be.”

Ivar looked away and gritted his teeth. Hvitserk slowly removed his hand and stepped down. He kept an eye on Ivar as he went to grab the pitcher and another cup, filling it and handing it up to him.

“Drink. Talk to the men. Sing with us.” Hvitserk said as Ivar swiped the cup from his hand, the ale sloshing over the side. “Just relax and wait, Ivar.”

“It’s the waiting that I don’t like,” Ivar said. He chugged the ale and held out his cup for more, glancing around the hall. Hvitserk chuckled and refilled it, holding up his own cup, with a smile.

“To your child, my brother. Skol.” He said. Ivar glanced at him as a small smile spread across his face. Ivar touched cups with him and said, “Skol.”

~

It was just after supper that Aura had gone into labor and the sun was just cresting over the mountains the next morning, when Ivar snorted himself awake, sitting up from the table where he and the men had fallen asleep, drunk. Ivar groaned and looked around. He still heard Aura’s cries, but his head pounded and he shoved his head back into his arms, falling back asleep.

While Ivar slept off his hangover, Aura was drenched in sweat and tears as the midwives surrounded her, ordering the slaves about as they kept checking on her and the baby. Aura’s contraction finally let up and she collapsed back onto the bed, crying softly. She held her stomach and whimpered.

“Why doesn’t it want to come out?” Aura sobbed as a slave inserted herself behind her, letting Aura push against her as the slave wiped the sweat from her face.

“Your body isn’t ready yet. It still needs more time.” One of the midwives said. Aura sniffed and sighed.

“Where is Ivar? Please, I need to see him.” Aura begged.

“No, my Queen. He will be much to upset to be around you. He won’t remain calm. He is not allowed in until the baby is born.” The midwife said. Aura squeezed her eyes closed and let out a soft sob, gripping the slave’s hands as another contraction began. She cried out and leaned forward, almost willing the contraction out of her, along with the child. She cried as she slammed back into the slave, trying to endure the indescribable pain.

“Hold strong, My Lady. You can get through it. Remember to breathe.” The slave said, softly. Aura whimpered and tried to regulate her breathing as the contraction slowly faded. Aura sighed with a whimper and released her hands, collapsing back against her. The midwife felt around under her dress and smiled, looking up at Aura.

“My Queen…It’s time.” She said. Aura looked up at her as fresh tears formed, of both pain and happiness. She looked at the slave and said, “Come now, child. As we practiced.”

The slave nodded and helped Aura sit forward as Aura grasped her knees and spread her legs. She cried out as another contraction started.

“Push, my Queen! Push!” The midwife shouted. Aura pushed and screamed as she felt her walls rippling in pain. The slaves around her dabbed at her face and hurried to fetch blankets and hot water to clean off the new prince or princess. The contraction faded and Aura sighed. “You have only a short time to rest, Aura. The head is crowning.”

Aura didn’t have time to speak, for another, more powerful contraction took over. She cried as the midwife shouted ‘Push, my Queen! Push! Push!’ She tried to push as hard as she could, but her body was weak from pain and she collapsed, again, shaking her head and sobbing.

“I can’t. I can’t!” She cried. Her slave wiped her face and helped her sit up.

“You must, Aura. One more push and the child is here.” The midwife said. Aura nodded and bit her lip, praying to the gods and trying to gather the strength for one last push.

~

Somehow, Hvitserk had miraculously been able to sneak past the hangovers and waited outside Aura’s door with some of the other slaves. He began to pace as Aura’s cries turned into desperate screams. Every time her cries and screams stopped, he paused his steps and waited, listening and praying to hear the sound of a baby’s cry, but still, none came. It happened once or twice more before Aura’s screams rang through the hall, then all fell deathly silent. The silence made Hvitserk stop in his tracks and turn to the door. He held his breath and waited until a few seconds later, another, much more piercing scream rang through the halls. Hvitserk’s face lit up and he raced into the hall and pulled his brother up from the table.

“Ivar! Ivar, wake up! Sober up and go see your queen!” He cried, with a laugh. Ivar groaned and shoved Hvitserk away, trying to sweep the fog from his mind as he slowly blinked and gathered his surroundings.

“Stop your shouting, Hvitserk,” Ivar said, holding a hand to his head and swaying a little on his feet as he gripped his crutch, trying to stay standing. Ivar sighed and sent a slave for water as he looked to his brother. “What are you talking about? The midwife won’t let me see her.”

“Until the child is born?” Hvitserk asked. Ivar nodded and turned to the slave as the young girl came back with a cup. Ivar took it from her and gulped it down, finishing with a satisfied sigh.

“Yes, Hvitserk. Until the child is born.” Ivar said, closing his eyes and trying to will this nasty headache away.

“Then go see your wife,” Hvitserk said. Ivar snorted and turned to him, mouth open, ready to say some snarky retort, but he stopped, taking in Hvitserk’s words as his still drunk mind tried to process why he was so excited and adamant that he go and see Aura. Hvitserk raised an eyebrow, hoping Ivar would understand faster. “Ivar…Go. And see. Your wife.”

Ivar’s eyes widened as he finally began to understand and his mouth parted in a smile. Hvitserk laughed and gave him a little push toward the hallway. Ivar cast aside his crutch and fell to the floor as he began to crawl furiously to the door, pounding on it and reaching up to swing the door open. Ivar crawled in as Hvitserk soon followed him. He hauled his brother to his feet and pressed his crutch into his hands. Ivar had his eyes on the gaggle of women that surrounded his shared bed, trying to see past them as Hvitserk righted his brother before the women parted to let him through. A slave was bent over Aura as she was tucked under the furs.

“Aura.” Ivar started. The slave pulled back and stepped away as Aura looked up at him and smiled as she cradled a bundle in her arms, close to her chest. The midwife watched Ivar as his eyes glistened with tears and he swallowed hard. She smiled and said, “Let’s let them have a moment. Come along.”

She shooed out the slaves and ushered the other midwives out, gripping Hvitserk’s ear and dragging him along.

“Ah, ah, ah!” Hvitserk groaned, hopping along until he could get a proper footing.

“That includes you, Hvitserk. I helped bring you into this world, now you listen and let them have their time.” She said.

“Alright, Eira. Alright.” Hvitserk said, pulling himself out of the old woman’s grasp and rubbing his ear as he walked out. Eira closed the door as Ivar slowly made his way to the bed and lowered himself. He let out a shaken breath as he stared at the bundle that cooed and made soft noises. Aura smiled as she looked from her husband to her child.

“Is-Is it…?” Ivar didn’t have the heart to ask her anything, he was so terrified. Aura looked up at him and smiled, taking his hand.

“It’s a girl, Ivar.” She said. Ivar took a soft gasp as the tears slowly spilled over and slid down his cheeks. Aura’s eyes welled as well. “You have a daughter. And she is healthy.”

Ivar sighed and took another breath, looking at his wife and smiling, putting a hand to her cheek. He looked down at the bundle that was his daughter and tried to form the words he desperately didn’t want to ask, but had to for his own sanity.

“Her-Her legs…Let me see her legs…” He said, the tears and crying thick in his voice. Aura bit her lip to keep herself from outright sobbing, then shifted her daughter and set her between them, slowly undoing her bundle. The little princess let out a soft cry as the cold air ruined her warm embrace, holding her fists in the air as if to fight it off. Ivar let out a choked sob/laugh and gingerly touched a finger to the tiny fist. Aura pulled the cloth away to reveal the smooth and strong legs of Ivar’s child. Ivar gazed down at his daughter’s legs and smiled as tears fell from his eyes. He slowly slid a hand over one leg and squeezed his eyes shut, thanking the gods for this blessing. Aura smiled and wrapped up her daughter, holding her close to her chest once more. Ivar sighed and shifted, pulling his legs up onto the bed with Aura and holding both his girls close to him. Ivar nuzzled Aura’s hair and kissed her cheek, letting out a huge sigh. Aura leaned against him and smiled, shifting the child to rest between them.

“We should name her.” Aura said softly. Ivar chuckled and said, “I’ve thought of many names. But I was hoping you would have a boy.”

Aura giggled and shook her head. “I thought of a few for both. But when I saw her only one stood out.” She said. Ivar cupped her chin and lifted it as he looked down at her.

“Then you shall name her, my queen. You have blessed me with a child. I can ask no more of you.” He said. He bent down and kissed her slowly. “What was the name?”

Aura looked at him and smiled. “I know you never knew her, but I think it would be a great tribute to your father, after losing his daughter so young…” She started. Ivar gave a small nod and sigh, knowing the name already. “I should like to name her Gyda.”

Ivar smiled and pushed back her sweat-drenched hair. “One Princess Gyda died here…I find it rather fitting another is born here.” He said. Aura smiled and nodded. Ivar chuckled and kissed her temple as she looked down at her little princess.

“Princess Gyda,” Ivar said, softly, also watching his daughter. “May you be strong and wise, my child.”

“She will be.” Aura said, looking up at him. “She will learn from you.”

Ivar chuckled and said, “Also from you, my queen.”

Aura smiled and leaned against him as he held them both close, both of them closing their eyes and taking in this peaceful and happy moment.

~


	3. Chapter 3

The entire town of Kattegat celebrated the birth of Princess Gyda. Many who remembered Ragnar’s daughter Gyda and were close with Ragnar teared up at the announcement of her birth and name. Ivar refused to hold her, still a little wary and fearful of possibly dropping her or not being able to comfort her, but as Aura continued to insist, one night she finally sat Ivar down, after his braces had been removed therefore it would have been a touch harder to avoid it, and she placed his daughter in his arms. Ivar tensed and held her in his hands, unsure of what to do. Aura giggled and held rearrange the child and as Ivar gazed down at his daughter, her bright blue eyes staring back up at him, Ivar completely melted. He refused to let her go for the rest of the night.

As Gyda grew over the next few months, Ivar paid close attention to her legs, just to make sure she could still use them, always fearful that some part of his disease would linger in her and cause her to become a cripple. Around her 4th month of life, Ivar noticed that whenever Aura had her laid out on the bed, making faces at her and playing with her, Gyda never kicked her legs up in joy as she laughed, she never lifted her legs in her newfound freedom after being unswaddled, and it became a great concern to him. He had seen Bjorn’s children and how they progressed, and though it was dim in his memory, it seemed Gyda was not developing the way they had.

~

“Ivar. Ivar, please wait! You will drop her if you go too fast!” Aura hissed at him as she tried to keep up. Ivar slunk around Kattegat one evening, as he made his way, with his daughter in his arms, to one of the healers. He was very proud that his daughter did not have the same deformity that he had, but it worried him that there would still be something wrong with her legs.

“I do not want anyone to see us, Aura. No one must know.” Ivar hissed back at her. Aura finally managed to catch his arm and catch up to him.

“My love, you must stop these fears.” Aura said. “She is healthy. Her legs are fine.”

“She does not move them as other babies do. The healers will know if there is something wrong.” Ivar said as they reached the hut. Ivar stopped at the door, suddenly afraid and wanted to turn back. He wanted answers, but he wanted to be told there was nothing wrong with his daughter. But he knew there was that chance and it scared him. Aura looked up at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Ivar glanced down at her before knocking on the door, shifting his crutch as they waited. There was a shuffling behind the door and it ripped open. The old woman behind the door lifted a hand, single finger raised, with her mouth open, ready to tell off whatever asinine person stood behind it that it was late and what the fuck were they doing here? But when she saw it was the king and queen with their princess, she lowered her hand and stepped aside with a low bow to welcome them in.

“My King Ivar. My Queen Aura. It is very late, what can I do for you?” She asked, closing the door behind them. Aura took Gyda from Ivar as she turned to the old woman.

“I need you to look at my daughter, Leea,” Ivar said. Aura bounced Gyda in her arms, gently, trying to keep her asleep as she watched the exchange. Leea raised an eyebrow.

“The Princess? What has happened?” Leea asked, going to Aura and guiding her to the table where she set Gyda down.

“I am worried about her legs,” Ivar said, trying to keep his voice strong. Leea hmmed as Aura took Gyda out of her swaddle and cooed at her, trying to keep her quiet and comfortable. Gyda whined a little and struck out her fists, wiggling around on the table, but barely moved her legs. Ivar tensed as he watched his daughter, his heart ready to break. There was a thought, that perhaps Gyda did have the same disease that afflicted him and it just happened that her legs looked normal. Ivar could at least be thankful for that, but it would still mean his daughter was a cripple, like him.

“Come now, child. My Queen, if I may.” Leea said, pushing Aura’s hands away gently to lift Gyda into the air. Gyda cried out and whined, letting her legs swing in the air. “Come now, princess. Show us your legs, dear.”

Gyda gave one small kick with one leg, then the other, but no other movements aside from the natural swing. Leea set her back down, gently, and began to examine her legs, giving them small squeezes that cause a small whine from Gyda every now and then.

“The bones do not appear to be brittle…But they are weak.” Leea said. She lifted Gyda’s legs and bent them, gently, trying not to break the bone if she was wrong. But Gyda seemed to calm as Leea bent and straightened each leg in turn for a few seconds. “Ah. There we are. My Queen.”

Leea indicated to Aura to pick Gyda back up and Aura quickly swaddled her again and held her close. She turned to Ivar and said, “Her legs are weak, my King. She will need much help if she’s to ever use them. She is no cripple, not yet.”

Leea held up a finger to him, giving him a look, knowing this is the answer he feared she would give.

“Little exercises to stretch her legs. Once a day for now.” Leea said, looking to Aura. “If she can endure it and improve, twice a day. Once she begins walking, bring her back to me and I shall see what I can do, if there is anything to be done.”

Ivar turned away with a huff as his eyes filled with tears. He was glad Gyda wasn’t a cripple, but her legs were weak and he blamed himself.  Aura went to him and slid a hand over his back.

“Ivar. She is okay.” Aura said gently.

“Will she even be able to crawl?” Ivar asked, not turning. Aura watched him for a moment, biting her lip, then turned to Leea, who nodded.

“Yes. She will. Right now, she does not bend her knees. She needs to learn she can do this without pain and she will be able to crawl.” Leea couldn’t help a smirk as she added, “With respect, my King, I’m sure she will soon follow your example if she were to often see you crawl alongside her.”

Aura pressed her lips together as she smiled and leaned against Ivar with a soft chuckle. Ivar cracked a smile and let a short laugh pass. Aura tugged on Ivar’s arm to turn him toward her.

“She will still be treated as a normal child, my love. She is no different than any other.” Aura said. “The Seer said she will be healthy and strong. Just because her legs are weak doesn’t mean she is unhealthy and cannot become a fierce warrior like her father.”

Ivar sighed and reached up a hand to cup her cheek. He looked down at Gyda, who was now wide awake and staring up at her parents. Ivar smiled and bent down to kiss her forehead that caused a happy coo from her. Aura smiled and smoothed back her hair.

“She will be a warrior. The best shieldmaiden Kattegat has ever seen.” Ivar said, softly. Aura looked up at him. She knew in his heart, he didn’t want his daughter to be in battle beside him. Best save that for the sons. But with the miracle of Gyda, there was no promise of more children, let alone sons. But if this is what the Seer prophesied, Ivar would not stand in the way of his daughter’s destiny. Who knows? Maybe one day she would become Queen of Kattegat.

~

The months went on and Aura was dutiful to make sure Gyda’s legs were stretched every day. When she turned a year old, Leea had a special walker made, fitted for Gyda that allowed her to grip the sides and keep herself standing as she slowly began to start walking. Ivar was still uncomfortable with people seeing his daughter with her little walker, but Aura was always there to turn in around, delighted at how strong she was becoming and she was walking at the same time other babies would be. When Gyda was 4, Leea advised them to have braces made for her little legs. She said Gyda’s legs were still weak, not using them entirely proper from the walker and she should start walking without it, but there was still the chance of her legs giving out or breaking if they were not strong enough. At this, Ivar was near inconsolable. He did not want to see his daughter with braces! He did not want to see his child as a cripple like himself! Ivar almost destroyed their room before Aura and Hvitserk dragged him out.

“Papa?! Papa!” Gyda called, trying to run away from her nurse with her walker. She giggled madly as she tried to follow Ivar’s shouts, a sound she was used to by now. Aura turned to Hvitserk as he finally got his brother to calm down and sit him down on the bed.

“Don’t let her in here, Hvitserk. Keep her away.” Aura said, ushering him toward the door.

“She’s going to want Ivar,” Hvitserk said. Aura huffed at him.

“Then distract her.” She said, pushing him out the door.

“Hvitty!” Gyda cried, seeing him stumble out. Hvitserk turned and smiled, going to her and scooping her up.

“My little Princess.” He chuckled, nuzzling her cheek. Gyda squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Shall we go see the horses?”

“But…Papa…” She said, glumly. Hvitserk chuckled.

“He will meet us there.” He said. Gyda smiled and nodded, hugging his neck and pressing her cheek to his as he carried her out to the stables. Aura sighed, bracing her hands against the door before turning to Ivar.

“She will be seen as a cripple, Aura. I’ll not have her in braces like me!” He shouted. Aura crossed her arms.

“Is that such a bad thing? For her to be seen like you? She is your daughter. No matter if she is a cripple or not!” Aura said. “Aslaug loved you!”

“She pitied me because I am a cripple!” Ivar shouted, a death glare shooting up at her.

“She loved you because she was afraid of how people would treat you, because you were different.” Aura said, her voice strong and powerful. “She loved you because she thought no one else would.”

“My father left me for the wolves. My brothers thought I couldn’t command the army.” Ivar hissed.

“Your father didn’t realize your potential until it was too late because he was just as upset as you are now! Your brothers were selfish and thought that they should lead simply because they are older, not wiser! You are a cripple, you wear braces and yet you are King of Kattegat like your father before you! You! Not Bjorn! Not Ubbe! You, Ivar!” Aura shouted at him. “She is your daughter! She may be our only child! Are you telling me you will only love her if she is not like you?! You wanted to be a different father than Ragnar was to you! A better father! A better father would still love his child in spite of what makes her different! A better father would love her because of it or not see her as different at all!”

“ _But she is different!_ ” Ivar bellowed, shooting to his feet. “And she will always be different! There is no changing that fact!”

“Then show her what it means to succeed in being different! Show her how to take charge and become powerful despite her weak legs!” Aura bellowed back. “She loves you, Ivar. You are her father and she loves you. Show her that being different, having problems with her legs is not something that can hold her back or make her  _any_  less than what she is!”

Ivar seethed at Aura as he turned away and began to pace. Aura panted, softly, trying to catch her breath from all the screaming. She ran her hands over her face and pulled her wet fingers away, not realizing she had begun crying. She sniffed and sighed, going to the bed and sitting down. Ivar sighed and turned to her, leaning against a table.

“Ivar. She needs the braces.” Aura said, her voice a little softer and quieter as she looked up at him. “Perhaps she won’t even need them later in her life. She needs to strengthen her legs. She needs the braces. They’re getting made now and she will have them. I don’t care what you say. I’m doing what is best for my daughter.”

Aura stood and moved to go to the door, but Ivar went to her, catching her arm. Aura stopped and sighed, not ready for another fight. Ivar held her arm as he closed the space between them and nuzzled her hair.

“I’m sorry.” He said, softly. Aura turned to him and Ivar looked at her. He cupped her cheek and kissed the other. Aura slowly lifted her arms to slide her hands over his arms.

“Ivar, she is not a cripple. Rejoice in that.” Aura said. Ivar nodded as he pressed his face into her hair.

“I do. I truly do.” He breathed. Ivar’s lip quivered as tears slid down his cheeks. “But I do not want my daughter to be looked down on for her deformities. I do not want to see those same stares I once received now cast down to her. She has done nothing wrong.”

“Neither did you.” Aura said, turning his face to hers. Ivar let out a slow breath before he let his eyes meet hers. “You were once young and innocent as she is now. You didn’t deserve those stares then either. But you were to be seen as one of Ragnar Lothbrok’s strong sons. Which you were. Just not in the way they wanted. And now? She is Ivar the Boneless’ daughter and she will be set to those standards as well. It is your job as her father to stand up for her until she takes your lead and is able to do so herself. Ivar, my love, you doubt so much. Everything that you do, say, think, is negative! You do not believe in yourself and that is where your anger comes from. Do not teach her that. I shall never forgive you if you do.”

Ivar sighed and squeezed his eyes shut as Aura wiped his face. She pressed her lips to his and Ivar clung to her, wrapping an arm around her waist as he kissed her back. Aura broke the kiss and nuzzled his cheek.

“I don’t know what I would do without you, Aura.” He said softly. Aura gave a soft chuckle and looked at him.

“The gods brought me to you for a reason, husband. Listen to me now. Go and take your daughter to get her braces. That is something only you should do.” Aura said. Ivar sighed and nodded, taking a glance behind him at the destruction he had left. Before he could say anything about it, Aura put a finger to his lips. “The slaves will take care of it. Go.”

Ivar smiled and kissed her once more, trailing his fingers over her cheek before leaving her and making his way out to the hall to find Hvitserk and Gyda.

~

“Where are we going, Papa?” Gyda asked as Ivar carried her down to the blacksmith.

“You remember how Leea made you your walker?” Ivar asked. Gyda smiled and nodded.

“Yes.” She said. “Because my legs are weak and I needed it to be strong.”

Ivar chuckled and said, “Well, when I was your age, I couldn’t even have a walker. I was carted around in a wagon or carried on a chair.”

“Really? That sounds like more fun than walking.” Gyda giggled. Ivar smirked and shrugged.

“I suppose. But I wanted to walk. And now I am!” Ivar said, giving her a little bounce. Gyda squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck, giggling.

“Don’t drop me, Papa.” She giggled. Ivar smiled and kissed her cheek.

“I will never drop you, Princess.” He said.

“So how come you walk now?” Gyda asked, playing with his braids.

“Because of these things on my legs. My braces.” He said. Gyda tried to lean over to get a better look, but Ivar groaned as he leaned forward with her, and shifted her back. “No, no, Gyda. Wait until I put you down.”

“Sorry, Papa,” Gyda said. Ivar smiled at her.

“It is alright.” He said.

“Am I going to get braces too?” She asked. Ivar clenched his jaw, still not happy with the situation and nodded.

“Yes. You are.” He said, grimly. Gyda smiled and laughed.

“Will I match you?!” She cried. Ivar blinked and looked at her, stopping as they had reached the blacksmith.

“Y-Yes. You will.” He said. Gyda cheered, throwing her hands up before wrapping her arms around him again, giving a small squeeze.

“Yay! I want to be just like you, Papa!” Gyda said, nuzzling his cheek. “And they will make my legs strong?”

“Yes, my child. They will help them to be.” Ivar said, setting her down on the table. Gyda giggled and leaned over to look down at Ivar’s braces.

“But won’t they hurt?” She asked, looking up at him. “I don’t want them to hurt.”

Ivar smiled and cupped her cheek. “Gyda, my dove. If you want to be strong like your papa, you must endure the pain, no matter how it comes. It hurt when I first had my braces. I wasn’t used to standing for 17 years. But after a while, the pain went away.” He said. Gyda’s eyes lit up as she asked, “Because you they got strong?”

Ivar chuckled. “I suppose.” He said. Gyda turned as the blacksmith brought over two small metal braces. She gave a small whimper and clung to him.

“It’s going to hurt? When he puts them on?” She asked. Ivar smoothed back her hair.

“It might. He has to make sure they fit well. Then he will hammer them closed.” Ivar said. Gyda looked up at him.

“Will I be able to take them off ever?” She asked. Ivar nodded.

“Yes. You’ve seen me without mine on.” Ivar said. Gyda looked at the braces again as the blacksmith got them ready, then back up to Ivar.

“You won’t leave me, will you, Papa?” She asked. Ivar smiled and shook his head.

“I will never leave you, my dove.” He said. Gyda smiled and nodded as the blacksmith picked Gyda up and placed her legs in each brace.

~


	4. Chapter 4

The adjustment to Gyda’s braces was hard for both Gyda and Ivar. While Gyda was very happy to have braces like her father, Ivar still struggled with the fact that she needed them. But he did see the improvement over the next few years and the use of her braces became sparse. In time, Ivar became fiercely proud of Gyda as she soon learned how to ride a horse and started to learn how to use a sword. She was only 8 years old, but Ivar already saw the makings of a shieldmaiden. As she got older, she started to abandon her braces altogether and had far too many close calls with her legs. Twice the year she turned 10, her legs gave out under her during training. When she was 13, she almost broke her legs after she toppled off her horse, trying to outdo some of the older boys. As a result, Gyda had to go back to using her braces more often to keep her legs strong.

~

“Gyda! Come back here and put these on, now.” Aura said as she caught Gyda trying to sneak out of her room as her mother had her back turned. Gyda stopped and sighed, tilting her head back with a groan.

“Mother, my legs feel fine today,” Gyda said, turning and going back to her bed. Aura gently pushed her down to sit. Aura knelt down and strapped the braces on over her pants. Gyda leaned back on her hands as her mother worked, giving a sigh.

“Gyda, they may feel fine, but until your legs don’t shake after a day’s training, you need them.” Aura said. “You’re 17 years old. You’re well past old enough to be married. Do you want to have to wear the braces at your wedding?”

“If there is a wedding…” Gyda muttered, rolling her eyes. Aura’s head shot up to her.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She asked.

“Mother, what man would want a woman who has to wear braces to be able to stand and fight? I might as well be a cripple.” Gyda said, crossing her arms. Aura stood and stared down at her daughter, hard.

“Your father is a cripple and I married him. Being a cripple is not a bad thing if you have ambitions and determination.” Aura said. Gyda sighed and held out her hands for her mother to help her up, which she did. Gyda teetered a little, regaining her balance.

“You and Papa are different. You love him for who he is and how he treats you. Men aren’t the same. There hasn’t been one boy who’s ever looked at me as anything more than a fellow warrior and shieldmaiden. And even if they did, I am Ivar’s daughter…They wouldn’t have the balls.” Gyda said, irritated. Aura sighed and pushed Gyda’s curls back, turning her to braid them so they stayed out of her eyes.

“Then they are not worthy of the Princess.” Aura said. “You’ll find one, Gyda. There will be one man who will brave your father.”

“And when he discovers I’m half a cripple?” She asked. Aura turned her back to face her.

“You are not half a cripple. I don’t want to hear that word from you again, am I clear?” Aura said. “You have surpassed all the boys your age in training. Bested Hvitserk many times, even King Harald! You are a great shieldmaiden and any man who thinks the braces are something that they don’t want to see on their wife, then they are not worthy. Know your worth, Gyda. You are the Princess of Kattegat. The only child and daughter of Ivar the Boneless. And you are set to become one of the best shieldmaidens Kattegat has ever seen. Does that sound like a cripple to you?”

Gyda preened a little at the thought of being the best in Kattegat. Aura smiled and kissed her cheek.

“Please be careful today. Your father will be taking over the training and you’ll go riding with Hvitserk after.” Aura said. Gyda nodded and smiled.

“Yes, Mother,” Gyda said. Aura smiled and watched as Gyda hurried out of the room and out to training.

~

“Come on! Keep those shields up!” Ivar shouted as he circled the training ring. Grunts and groans from the young men and shieldmaidens filled the space alongside the metal clash of swords. Gyda hurried down and smiled as she eyed the fence, ready to hurdle it and join. Just as she reached out to grab the fence and jump, two arms wrapped around her waist and tugged her back.

“Hey! Get off! Do you know who I am?!” Gyda shouted. She was turned and she sighed. “Are you kidding me, Hvitserk?”

Hvitserk smirked as he released his niece. “Are you kidding? You think you could jump the fence? You almost broke your legs last time you tried.” He said, walking around her to block her from jumping the fence and crossing his arms. Gyda sighed.

“And last time I didn’t have my braces. That’s why.” Gyda said. Hvitserk chuckled.

“Those braces aren’t a guarantee, Gyda,” Hvitserk said. “You must be careful.”

“As Mother constantly reminds me so, Hvitty, thank you.” Gyda huffed at him, moving around him to join the others. Hvitserk chuckled and shook his head, then turned to Ivar and gave a whistle. Ivar turned and nodded at him, still shouting at the young men and women as he made his way over to his brother.

“Keep! Those! Shields! Up! Move! Use your opponent's’ weight against him!” Ivar shouted. He sighed as he leaned against the fence, watching them train. “Hvitserk.”

“She has Father’s spirit. Always wanting to show off.” Hvitserk chuckled, crossing his arms over the fence, leaning. Ivar smirked and shook his head.

“His restlessness.” Ivar corrected. He watched as Gyda jumped right in with one of the strongest boys her age and locked in a fight. Ivar’s smile grew as he said, “She has her mother’s spirit.”

Hvitserk titles his head back, slightly, with a soft chuckle, and nodded. “That she does,” Hvitserk said. “Though she has your ferocity. Aura isn’t that violent.”

Ivar gave him a look and said, “I am not a violent person.”

Hvitserk snorted and shot him a look that made Ivar sigh and say, “Anymore. Since Gyda.”

Hvitserk chuckled and gave a shrug. “This is true. Having a child has changed you.” He said. Ivar watched Gyda closely.

“Gyda! Keep your sword up!” He shouted. Gyda growled as she pushed the boy away and beat him back. Ivar smirked. “Good, Gyda! Good! Hersi! Don’t let her beat you back! Use your shield!”

The boy Gyda fought, Hersi, gave a quick Ivar a quick glance, almost as if he was trying to get Ivar’s approval to try and beat back his daughter.

“Get on with it, boy!” Ivar shouted. Hvitserk smirked and gave a soft snicker. Ivar wasn’t a stupid man, he saw how the boys looked at Gyda when her back was turned or her attention was elsewhere. With one death glare, the boys quickly looked away and busied themselves sharpening their swords or doing something else that brought them away from Ivar and Gyda. But Hersi never backed down from Ivar’s looks, mainly because he never received them, but also because he wasn’t afraid of him. It was a quality Ivar quite admired in him.

Hersi gave a low growl and shoved Gyda away, twirling his sword and smirking at her. A sly smirk of her own crossed Gyda’s face as they circled each other. The shouts and hollers of their fellow trainees didn’t register, as their heated battle made them abandoned their own and create a circle around them.

“Go on, Gyda!” One of her friend’s shouted as the boys around her jostled her as they pressed forward. Gyda glanced back at her and smirked.

“Beat her, Hersi! Go on!” One of his friends shouted. Hersi chuckled and took a step forward.

“How are your legs today, Princess?” He teased with a chuckle, as he tapped his sword against one of her braces. Gyda smirked and kicked his sword away, holding up her sword at him.

“Just fine, Hersi. How’s the arm?” She teased back, slapping her sword against the blood-stained bandage on his arm. Hersi winced and took a step back that Gyda used to her advantage. She advanced on him and swung her sword, but Hersi ducked and swung his sword against hers. They continued until Gyda huffed and threw down her shield turning as Hersi’s sword lunged at her. She gripped his wrist and turned him back against her as their swords crossed. Hersi gave a small growl and pulled away, lowering his sword to her neck as she turned, but Gyda had done the same. They both panted as they took a few steps, circling each other. Hersi chuckled and smiled, tapping his sword against her shoulder.

“Look familiar?” Hvitserk asked with a chuckle. Ivar smirked and said, “She pays attention.”

“You fought well, Gyda,” Hersi said, sheathing his sword at his side as the others went back to their own fights. Gyda glanced at him and smiled.

“And you.” She said. Hersi nodded to the water barrel and began to head toward it. Gyda chewed her lip, briefly, as she sheathed her sword and followed him. Hersi plunged two cups into the water, filling them up, then held one out to her. “Thank you.”

Gyda gulped down her water and sighed, glancing out over the others. Hersi watched her and glanced down at her braces.

“How  _are_  your legs, Gyda?” Hersi asked. Gyda turned to him. He nodded at the braces and said, “You weren’t wearing them yesterday.”

Gyda smirked and said, “And I still beat you.”

Hersi smirked and chuckled, dunking his cup back into the water.

“Mother insisted I wear them today. But they feel fine.” Gyda said, looking him over while he was looking away from her. He was the most handsome young man her age, though he was a year or so older than her. She admired him as a warrior and adored him as a man. Gyda quickly looked away as Hersi turned back to her, with a smile, and continued the conversation.

“Hmm, I’ve never seen that look before.” Hvitserk teased, looking at his brother, whose eyes were already glaring at Hersi, though the boy did nothing wrong. Hvitserk snickered. “She’s 17, Ivar. She has to get married some time.”

“No, she doesn’t,” Ivar said. “She will marry when I’m dead and maybe not even then.”

“You can’t keep her from men, brother. If you do she will only rebel.” Hvitserk said, pushing off the fence.

“She is my daughter and I shall keep her as I please,” Ivar said, looking at him. Hvitserk laughed.

“And you think your Queen will allow it?” He teased. Ivar rolled his eyes and shooed him away as he made his way to the center of the ring and called the young warriors back. Hvitserk chuckled, lingering a moment longer to watch Gyda and Hersi. Hersi took her cup and set both cups down before gesturing to Ivar, letting Gyda walk in front of him. He saw Hersi slip a hand behind her back to guide her forward, an innocent enough movement, but he saw Gyda’s cheeks tint pink at the touch. She glanced at him and gave him a soft smile, saying a goodbye of sorts before parting with him to stand with her friends. Hvitserk glanced at Ivar, who had missed the exchange and smirked, heading down to the stables to ready his and Gyda’s horses.

~

Gyda rode hard through the woods as Hvitserk trailed her, calling after her with a laugh. Gyda chuckled and kicked her horse to go faster as she ripped through Kattegat, heading for the stables. Once she had them in her sights, she tugged on the reins to slow her horse to a canter then a walk as she approached. Gyda sighed and tilted her head back as her horse made his way into the stables. Hvitserk soon trailed her and swung down from his horse.

“You ride too fast, Gyda,” Hvitserk said, going to her and grabbing at the reins. Gyda gave a soft laugh and said, “You’re just sore that I beat you.”

Hvitserk smirked and shook his head as he led his horse to her stall. Gyda sighed and turned to step down, but Hersi popped up beside her. She let out a soft squeak and chuckled.

“Enjoy your ride, Princess?” He asked, holding his hand out to her. Gyda smiled and took it.

“Very much.” She said, swinging her leg over. Hersi took her waist and helped her as she jumped down, making sure she was steady on her feet. Gyda looked up at him as she gripped his arms and smiled. “Thank you.”

Hersi smiled and released her, stepping around her and taking the reins. He stroked her horse’s make and gave him a solid pat on his neck.

“He needs a bath,” Hersi said with a chuckle, waving away the dust his pat let loose. Gyda smirked and slid her hand down his neck.

“You’re the stable boy,” Gyda said, looking from her horse to him. “Get it to.”

Hersi looked at her. He  _was_ the stable boy, but that was only until he had earned his place in Ivar’s army. Gyda chewed her lip as he remained expressionless, worried he’d be offended. She never really abused her title and birthright as a princess, and if she did, she did so in jest. But Hersi soon cracked a smirk that made her relax and chuckle.

“As you ask, Princess.” He said, leading her horse away, leaving her to stand there and watch him leave. Gyda sighed, softly and chewed her lip, her thoughts buzzing in her mind. She turned and jumped, startled by Hvitserk standing right behind her. Gyda sighed and scratched at her forehead before she looked up at him and asked, “Are you going to tell Papa?”

Hvitserk smirked and chuckled, slinging an arm around her neck as he steered her away from her precious stable boy and back to the hall. “I will not tell your Papa,” Hvitserk said. Gyda sighed with a smile and reached up to grab the hand that dangled over her shoulder. Hvitserk glanced down at her and added, “But only if you tell your mother.”

Gyda looked up at him. “Tell her what?” Gyda asked. Hvitserk chuckled and kissed her temple, pulling his arm away as they continued to walk.

“I am no fool, nor am I blind, my little Princess,” Hvitserk said, clasping his hands behind his back. He leaned a little closer to her as they walked and said, “You are fond of him, yes?”

“Of course? He’s the only one to best me in training…” Her lips skewed in a smile and added, “On occasion.”

Hvitserk smirked and leaned away. “You are more than fond of him, though, aren’t you?” He asked. At this question, Gyda stopped for a moment before rushing her steps to keep in step with her uncle. Hvitserk chuckled and glanced at her. “I have promised I wouldn’t tell Ivar. But you must tell Aura. She will want to know.”

Gyda shook her head. “No.” She said. “Mother will overreact. She was talking about my future wedding this morning. I don’t want to get married and just be somebody’s wife! I want to fight! Like you and Papa!”

“Gyda.” Hvitserk chuckled, stopping and turning to her. Gyda turned to him as her face became scrunched in irritation and sadness. He took her shoulders and said, “Just because you are married, doesn’t mean you will stay home and not fight. Torvi fought while she was married to Bjørn. Even Lagertha was by Ragnar’s side before their divorce.”

Hvitserk gave her shoulders a small push to make his point.

“Still. I don’t want either of them to know.” Gyda said, giving him a look as she turned to continue walking. Hvitserk groaned and followed her.

“Gyda, my niece, do not do this to me.” He said. “Why do you not want them to know?”

“Because I do not want to look like a fool, Hvitserk!” Gyda hissed at him. He gave a soft scoff.

“And how would you look like a fool?” He questioned.

“Because Hersi doesn’t like me the way I like him.” Gyda said. Hvitserk blinked.

“How could he not? You are the Princess.” He said.

“Maybe he doesn’t want a princess, Hvitty.” She hissed again. “Besides…He has eyes for Erika.”

“Your best friend?” Hvitserk questioned. He was rather surprised that the young girl who cheered her on against Hersi was her rival, but he didn’t truly believe it. “Does she also feel the same?”

Gyda shook her head. “No. She is in love with Egil.” Gyda said. “And he is in love with her.”

“So, then why do you think he will not want you?” He asked. Gyda sighed and shook her head.

“I’m not having this conversation. It’s just more you will know and tell Mother and Papa.” Gyda said.

“I have given you my word I will not,” Hvitserk said.

“That you will not tell Papa, as long as I tell Mother. And I have told you I will not.” Gyda said. “Therefore, you will tell Papa anyway.”

“Gyda-”

“I said, I am not having this conversation, Hvitserk.” She hissed, turning on him and stopping just before the Hall doors. “Tell Papa if you wish. But you’ll hear no more from me.”

Hvitserk smirked and gave a soft chuckle as his niece slipped into the hall. He sighed and shook his head, going down to the stables.

~


	5. Chapter 5

Gyda was silent through the evening meal and Ivar soon took notice.

“You did well in training today, Gyda.” He said, smiling at her. Aura smiled and looked from Ivar to Gyda. Gyda glanced up at him and gave a half smile.

“Thank you, Papa.” She said softly. Ivar watched her as he sipped his ale.

“Hvitserk tells me you’ve done well with your riding.” He said. Gyda glanced down at Hvitserk, a sudden but brief fear flashing across her face. Aura reached a hand over to touch her arm.

“Gyda, are you feeling well, child?” She asked, concerned. Gyda nodded and sat back.

“Yes. I’m fine. Just-Just tired from the day. May I be excused?” Gyda asked. Aura smiled and leaned over to kiss her cheek.

“Of course. Go on. I’ll be in to take off your braces in a minute.” She said. Gyda nodded and smiled as she stood. She bowed her head to her father and glanced at Hvitserk, giving him a quick nod as well before she hurried off down the hall. Aura sighed and pushed her meat around in her bowl. “What happened today?”

Ivar looked at her. “Nothing. She did well in training. I saw nothing out of the ordinary.” Ivar said. Aura smiled at her husband, touching his hand as she said, “Forgive me, my love. I wasn’t speaking to you.”

Aura shot her head down to her brother-in-law and gave him a hard stare that made Hvitserk freeze, spoon halfway to his mouth.

“What?” He asked, slowly lowering it.

“She’s been quiet since she came back from riding. What happened, Hvitserk?” She asked. Hvitserk sighed and sat back, rubbing a hand over his chin.

“I promised her I wouldn’t say anything, Aura,” Hvitserk said. Aura gave him a look and Ivar sat forward, resting his elbows on the table and lacing his fingers.

“Say anything about what, Hvitserk?” Ivar asked. Hvitserk sighed and shook his head.

“Ivar…Don’t.” Hvitserk warned, gently. He had a small smirk on his face because he liked the thought of Gyda having a secret love, but he also knew Ivar and possibly Aura would lose their collective minds if they found out.

“Don’t what, brother? Are you keeping secrets from me about my daughter?” Ivar asked. Hvitserk’s smirk grew a little more as he nodded.

“Yes. That’s exactly what I’m doing.” He admitted. “She should tell you for herself. I promised her I wouldn’t say anything and I won’t.”

Aura shook her head at the two men as they bickered and she stood, giving Ivar a quick kiss before he went right back to arguing with Hvitserk, the conversation slowly spiraling into other subjects long passed. She made her way down the hall and to Gyda’s door. She knocked once and waited until she heard Gyda’s soft-spoken ‘Come in’ and opened the door. Gyda glanced up at her mother as she undid her boots and slipped them off. Aura closed the door and went to her, helping her to the bed as Gyda laid back while Aura knelt in front of her.

“What happened after your riding lesson, Gyda?” Aura asked. Gyda lifted her head, glancing down at her mother.

“What? Happened? Nothing happened?” She said. Aura glanced up at her as she removed one brace and chuckled.

“Gyda, your mother isn’t stupid. You’ve been quiet since you got back and Hvitserk said-” Gyda groaned and gave a small whimper, laying her head back down on the bed and rubbing her face.

“Fuck! Is Papa mad?!” Gyda asked. Aura stood and set the second brace aside before pulling Gyda up on her feet.

“Mad about what, Gyda? If you would have let me finish…” Aura said, giving her a look. “Hvitserk said he promised he wouldn’t tell us anything and that it should come from you. So, out with it. What happened?”

Gyda sighed as Aura led her over to the chair and sat her down as Aura took down Gyda’s braids, brushing out her hair. Gyda chewed her lip and sat back.

“Nothing really happened. Just…Hvitserk might have noticed I’ve become fond of someone…” Gyda said, chewing her nail. Aura blinked and chuckled.

“Fond of someone? Who?” She asked. Gyda shook her head.

“No one. It doesn’t matter.” Gyda said, dropping her hand.

“Gyda. Tell me. You’ve never shown interest in the men here.” Aura prodded.

“No. Because you’ll tell Papa and he’ll get mad and be mean and rude to him.” Gyda said. Aura smirked, knowing that would be something Ivar would do.

“Gyda, I promise I won’t tell him.” Aura said. “Who is it? Egil?”

Gyda snorted and rolled her eyes. “Please. He tried to ask me to go on a ride with some of the others and Papa almost threw his axe at him. Even if I did like him, he wouldn’t even tell me if he liked me as well.” She said. Aura giggled and set down the brush as Gyda stood, going to her bed.

“Well, then, who?” Aura asked. Gyda slipped under her furs and turned over.

“Mother, please let it go. I’m tired.” She said. Aura sighed at her and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

“Goodnight, Gyda.”

“Goodnight, Mother.” Aura shuffled out of the room and sighed as she closed the door.

“Well?” Aura turned as Ivar made his way down the hall. Aura gave him a look and pushed him down to their room, sitting him on the bed. “Aura. What did she say?”

“She said she is fond of one of the men.” Aura said, kneeling to remove his braces. Ivar blinked.

“Hersi?” Ivar asked. Aura looked up at him as she set one brace aside.

“She didn’t tell me who it was. What makes you think it’s Hersi?” Aura asked. Ivar sighed.

“The way she looked at him at training today…” Ivar said, rubbing his hands over his face. “She would have stopped at the stables after her ride before she came back…”

Aura sighed, softly, and set the second brace aside. “She’s in love with the stable boy…The one who is ready to abandon his family in order to join your army. One of the only men who isn’t afraid of you.” Aura looked up at him and continued, “Is he worthy of your daughter, Ivar? Or will you only let her go for a prince?”

Aura set the second brace with its pair and stood, going to her wardrobe and pulling out a nightgown. Ivar sighed and watched her.

“What is that supposed to mean, Aura? What, you think I won’t allow it because he’s a stable boy?” Ivar asked.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Aura turned to him and gave him a look as she pulled her dress off, turning back around. “You want what’s best for her and I can understand that. But sometimes what’s best for her, is to let her make her own choices.”

“By keeping her in the hall with you all day? Learning to sew and cook?” Ivar said.

“Don’t put this on me, Ivar. She wants to do both and I don’t stop her. It’s her choice and she likes the thrill of a sword in her hand just as much as the smile on your face when you eat her food.” Aura said, tugging on her nightgown. Ivar shook his head and tore off his vest and shirt. Aura turned to her as she pulled a brush through her hair. “I trust you and Hvitserk to keep her safe while I’m here and you do. But you, Ivar, keep her too safe. Let her get her heart broken. Let her make the mistakes we never did because we were too protected as children.”

“She’s my daughter, Aura. I don’t want to see her heartbroken.” Ivar said.

“You’ve had your heart broken many times, my husband. You’ll know how she feels.” Aura said, braiding her hair as she went to the bed and sat down. Aura looked at Ivar’s back as he sat, hunched over, his hands gripping the edge. “You need to let her live her life and make her own choices. Let her love the stable boy and see where it goes.”

Aura shifted to slide under the furs and turned over. Ivar gave a soft groan and blew out the candles before shifting onto the bed and moving closer to his wife. He slid an arm around her and nuzzled her hair.

“I want to keep you both safe, my love. I never want to see either of you hurt.” He said softly. Aura slid her hand over his and laced their fingers.

“You’ve seen me in labor. You’ve seen Gyda upset when she couldn’t ride or train because of her legs. You’ve seen us hurt.” Aura said. She shifted and turned to him, reaching up a hand to cup his face. “Please, Ivar. Let her at least try. She’s 17. It’s well past her time. At least give the boy a chance.”

“As you wish, my queen,” Ivar said with a smile. Aura smiled and kissed him softly before snuggling into his side. Ivar held her close and sighed.

~

Gyda was rather fierce and merciless in training the next day. None of the shieldmaidens wanted to go up against her and most of the young men didn’t want to hurt her with Ivar watching them, so it was left to Hersi and Egil, both of whom didn’t mind going up against her, having beaten her a few times before.

“Go on, Egil!” Hersi shouted as the two of them circled the princess, laughing. Gyda gritted her teeth and growled as Egil advanced on her, sword swinging. Gyda blocked him and knocked him back with her shield before turning to Hersi. Hersi chuckled and gave his sword a quick twirl as he took a step forward. “You’re quite strong today, Princess. Legs doing okay?”

“They’re fine, Hersi. You should be more worried about yours.” Gyda said with a smirk. Hersi raised an eyebrow, confused, but chuckled nonetheless as he advanced on her. Gyda dropped and shot out her shield, sweeping his legs out from under him, making Hersi land on his back with a heavy thud. Gyda stood and pointed her sword at his throat before he had time to regain his senses and lift his. She quickly dropped her shield and ripped her dagger from her side and held it out to Egil as he advanced on her. She smirked and looked between both men, snickering. “It’s very well and good that you have each beaten me on your own…But being beaten when there are two of you? Beaten by the crippled princess no less?”

Gyda tsk’d at them and giggled, removing both blades from their throats and sheathing them. Egil sighed and sheathed his sword, going to help Hersi to his feet. Egil glanced at Ivar, who had watched the fight closely and was now heading their way, stopping to correct a few fights along the way.

“You fought well, Princess. Excuse me.” Egil said, quickly making his way to the water barrel. Gyda sighed and tilted her head back with a sniff and rolling her shoulders. Hersi sheathed his sword as he watched her.

“You’re not a cripple, Gyda,” Hersi said. Gyda looked at him, surprised.

“Of course I am. Half a cripple, but still a cripple. Normal women don’t wear braces to be able to walk.” She said, bending down to grab her shield.

“You need it to strengthen your legs. You can still walk without them. A cripple cannot even walk without assistance.” Hersi said. Gyda shifted and looked away.

“Well, to me, I am a cripple.” She said. Hersi caught her arm as she turned away and turned her back to him.

“Not to me,” Hersi said. Gyda looked up at him as he added, “You’re one of the best out of all of us, Gyda. You’re the only Princess of Kattegat there’s been since Ragnar’s Gyda. You could rival Lagertha in battle, and you can do so while wearing those braces or not. You’re Ivar the Boneless’ daughter and Ragnar Lothbrok’s granddaughter. You’re all these things, Gyda, but you’re not. A cripple.”

Gyda bit her lip and tried to fight her smile, however tiny it was. “Hersi-”

“Gyda. Hersi. Well fought.” Ivar said as he approached them. Hersi let go of her arm and Gyda turned away, turning to her father with a soft sigh before she smiled at him. “Where did Egil go?”

“Water,” Hersi said, picking up his shield. Ivar glanced over at him as he spoke with Erika by the barrel. Ivar nodded and turned back to the pair.

“You both fought well,” Ivar said, rather proud of his daughter for taking down both men. Gyda smiled and bowed her head. Ivar kissed her cheek then said, “Gyda, will you excuse us? I believe Hvitserk is waiting for you in the stables for your ride.”

Gyda’s fear shot through her. Why did he want to be alone with Hersi? Did Hvitserk break his promise after all and tell Ivar? She struggled to keep her emotions in check and nodded, hurrying away to the stables, dropping off her sword and shield before she did. Hersi glanced at her and sighed before turning to Ivar. He bowed his head and said, “My King.”

Ivar chuckled and clapped his back as he led him out of the training ring, indicating they take a little walk. Hersi dropped off his shield and sword as they left the ring, Ivar’s hand still on his shoulder.

“So. Hersi Vegard. The stable boy who wants to fight.” Ivar chuckled. Hersi gave a small smirk and glanced at him. “Why would you want to leave your family and join my army? You have young siblings, don’t you?”

Hersi nodded. “Yes. I do. But my mother isn’t doing well. If I can secure a place among the men, I might be able to support my brother and sister.” He said. Ivar watched him as they walked.

“You wouldn’t want to find a job somewhere in town? Being part of my army doesn’t pay that well, you know.” He said. Hersi smiled and nodded, looking at him.

“I know. But…I know ranking men do. And your personal guards. My hope is to earn your trust completely and rise.” Hersi said. Ivar stopped and chuckled.

“So ambitious. Thinking I’d trust someone other than my kin or the men who have saved my life.” Ivar said.

“I-If I’m honest, my King. It is one of the reasons why I try to fight Gyda. I know some of the other boys would love to say they beat the princess, and they don’t give mind to her legs when they fight. I had to train even harder to best them all so Gyda would want to train with me.” Hersi said. “I wanted you to see I can be loyal and faithful and worthy of your trust.”

Ivar blinked. Part of him was rather pissed that it seemed Hersi only cared about his daughter to get closer to him, but on the other hand, he believed he was up for the challenge, so Ivar decided to test it.

“You believe you’d even be worthy of guarding my daughter?” Ivar asked. Hersi nodded.

“I have been since we started training. At least, when she joined us.” Hersi said. “I saw the skill she had when we would see her training with Hvitserk and yourself. She learned quick and moved even quicker. I knew I’d have to be as skilled as she was if I even had a chance.”

“She is a great fighter,” Ivar said with a small chuckle, rather proud of her. “She’s also a great beauty. She gets that from her mother.”

Hersi’s lips parted in a small smile. “She is, my King. I think she’s one of most beautiful women in Kattegat. She’s a fierce fighter, but she’s so kind and sweet to everyone else. I often forget she’s the princess.”

“How do you mean?” Ivar questioned as they continued to walk.

“Well, she only ever wears her fine dresses and such when there’s an event. She always dresses as one of us. I’ve never seen Gyda use the fact that she is your daughter as a means to get her way. She’s a very humble and kind person.” Hersi said. Ivar smiled and chuckled, knowing he was right.

“What you say is true, Hersi. She is a very kind and loving person…” Ivar glanced at him and added, “She’ll make a fine wife to her future husband, one day.”

Ivar watched Hersi’s smile drop slightly when Ivar mentioned her future husband. He cleared his throat and nodded. “Yes. I believe she would. She’s very much like Queen Aura.”

Ivar smirked and continued their walk, in silence, as they made their way back to the ring.

~

“Come in,” Gyda said as she removed her braces. The door opened and Ivar walked in. Gyda chewed her lip as he came closer and sat in the chair across from her. “Papa.”

“Gyda,” Ivar started with a sigh as he lowered himself into the chair. “You did very well today against Hersi and Egil.”

Gyda gave a small smile and nodded. “Thank you, Papa.” She said. Ivar smiled at her.

“You’ve learned well and quick. I’m proud of you.” He said. “But I think perhaps, since you spent much of your life with me and Hvitserk, training, that I think you should spend more time here, with your mother.”

Gyda’s smile faded. “You-You don’t want me to train anymore?” She asked, slightly hurt. Ivar chuckled and leaned forward with a shake of his head.

“It’s not that, my daughter. You have proven yourself and I would love to have you by my side in battle.” He said. “I just think you should learn more of your mother’s skills. You learn fast, my child. Once your skills here match that in training, we can find an equal balance.”

“But why do I need to learn what Mother does anyway? I see her. She is kind and takes care of things when you’re not here. I do that with her.” Gyda said. Ivar sighed and stood, going and sitting next to her.

“Gyda, you’ll soon have men asking for your hand. You mustn’t be training and riding all day long anymore.” Ivar said. Gyda’s eyes filled with tears and she looked away from him. It broke Ivar’s heart to see her so hurt over this, but if he wanted to test his theory, he had to do it. “Please, Gyda. Let’s try it out for a week and see what happens.”

“Yes, Papa,” Gyda said, still not looking at him. She was hurt. As well as she’d done during training and as much praise as he gave her, why did he suddenly want her away and cooped up here in the hall? She wasn’t one to argue with her father, no one was unless they wanted to risk an axe thrown at their head. But she decided to just not take interest in whatever she would do and it would force Ivar to put her back into training, where she belonged.

Ivar sighed and ran a hand over her hair, leaning in to kiss her temple. “Good night, Gyda,” Ivar said. He stood and left the room, leaving Gyda as she grabbed one of her braces and launched it across the room with a shout. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she laid down on her bed and turned over.

~


End file.
